I wanted to post this somewhere...

Note: I started writing this for my teacher blog, and decided it was a little too emo and personal, but I didn't want to delete it, because the words and the thoughts have meaning and I want them recorded somewhere for me to look back and realize what they mean and who I was while I was looking for a job as a teacher. 

An interesting side effect of feeling almost constantly rejected in one section of your life is that rejections that come in a different area sting a whole lot more.  It's almost like you think that if life can throw so many rejections in your face in one aspect of your life, the least it could do is let you succeed somewhere, even if it is minor. Boost the confidence a little, or something.

Instead, you have a moment where you find yourself crying hysterically over something that doesn't even matter, as though it is a symptom of the larger problem of your life in general. That you just fail at everything you do.

Because that new rejection, as minor as it may be in the long run, is just the tipping point. It's easier to accept having trouble finding a job in a competitive industry than it is to feel like you were the last kid picked for recess baseball teams.

I'm purposely not providing details of said rejection because, even in the middle of my hysteria, I feel foolish, and I'd rather not further spread the insanity, so suffice it to say that by next week, I will be horrified that this incident was the moment that finally tipped the scales from frustrated acceptance to tears.